Gretchen was our first schnauzer. I know it was 2009 because I had just gotten back from Ruby. Our hunting dogs had both died within the past year, so we were dogless. I didn't even want another dog, at least for awhile. We had found a miniature schnauzer wandering stray at the market down the street. Stacey and Savannah had decided to keep it, but the real owners came by that day to pick her up. They were so upset that I said, "Fuck that; we'll get our own dog." Stacey and I drove down to St. Louis and adopted a white miniature schnauzer puppy almost identical to the stray. She was named Gretchen, and we ultimately decided to keep the name. When we got back to Canton, we stopped at Orscheln's where Savannah was working. It was instant love between the two, and they always had a special relationship thereafter. We bought a crate and took her home. She had a cold when we got her, and a steadily runny nose as a result. She got over that quickly. She didn't bark for about the first week. Boy did that change. She was so playful. I used to throw the ball for her over and over, often while sitting in my easy chair. She never seemed to tire of the game.
Her feistiness was hard to handle. I stopped her from play-biting by flicking her under the chin with my middle finger as hard as I could. She didn't like to be picked up and would still growl whenever we did. She liked to play rough, and she loved it when I'd wrestle her and get her all wound up. On the other hand, she loved people. She never met anyone she didn't go up to for affection. She was quite fast and agile in her youth, but as she aged, her hips betrayed her and even walking became a challenge at times. She didn't swim very well, though she loved playing in the water. She would attack the water, biting the surface like it was the enemy. She liked to go on walks, but when she walked with Savannah and got a bit tired, she'd lie down in the shade and refuse to go on. Savannah would have to carry her the rest of the way. Gretchen was great at skatejoring. I used to harness up her and Big Guy to pull me around on a longboard. She would pull as much as him, and more consistently.
She had tremendous play drive too, and scored a few kills on mice during her life. One time she pounced on a spider an ate it. Then immediately threw it up. She never did that again. One time I was about to feed a mouse to my snake, so I let Gretchen kill it first. I'm certain she enjoyed that, and I don't regret it. She was always fearless, and largely immune to pain. Typical of schnauzers. Ever the watchdog, she barked at every car that came up the drive. She had a particular hatred of horses. She'd bark like crazy when the Amish came by. We used to take her garage saling with us, and we had to make sure to park away from horses so she wouldn't go nuts. She had a similar hatred for the vacuum cleaner, and taught that to Big Guy.
She was full of mischief. If she got a hold of a roll of toilet paper, she would shred it to bits. She loved to roll in mud puddles and run through wet grass. Her cream-colored hair was often tainted with natural dyes. One year we were going to walk in the St. Patrick's day parade with her, so Stacey dyed her hair bright green. The parade was rained out, and Gretchen was green for two months. She traveled with us on our vacation to South Dakota, and we took her everywhere with us because she couldn't stand to be left in the car or the hotel room. I got kicked out of one store at Wall Drug for carrying her around. Our first night we all spent the night in a tent during a near-tornado.
One time we drove across the state of Missouri to see the Snowy Owls. We saw them, but we had bought the Chinese chicken treats that ended up being bad, and she threw up all over Stacey. We took her and Big Guy to Nebraska to see the Sandhill Cranes. They were well behaved in the hotel room, and didn't even bark at the birds. She loved camping, but she always had to ride in the passenger's lap. Often she would stand on the armrest, hit the button and make the window go down. She always wanted to go for a ride. You couldn't leave a car door open or she'd jump in, which she did many times while we unloaded Stacey's car.
When we got Big Guy, our 100-lb Giant Schnauzer, she ignored him for about a week. Then she started to play with him. After that, they became best friends for a long time. They played rough and chased balls, even though she was only about 21 pounds. At some point, near the end of his life, she stopped playing with Big Guy. I don't know if he accidentally stepped on her or what, but after that point she responded only with aggression when he tried to play with her.
When we first got the Sisters of Chaos, Gretchen did play with them a bit, running around the back yard. She would also attempt to play with foster dogs, especially the minis.
Gretchen was a very smart dog, and learned the usual obedience commands, like sit, stay, come. I taught her a couple of tricks that were kind of fun. She could do the poison treat trick, where I could put a treat down and she wouldn't take it until I said ok. She could also stand on her hind legs and spin around to get a treat.
After Big Guy got sick, she would eat his leftover food. She ballooned after that, and never really got down to her fighting weight. She played less than she did in her youth, but I could always get her to play ball with me outside. She was always a loud snorer; you could hear her from across the room.
She loved our new place out in the country. She especially like forcing her way through the clematis and common violets under the little windmill, and rolling in the spirea bushes. A selfie of her and me has been my Google profile pic for years, and I'm not inclined to change it.
She had a couple of surgeries for benign tumors, but was otherwise healthy for much of her life. She did endure a nasty bout of pancreatitis after Miss Kitty knocked down a stick of butter that Gretchen then devoured. Sadly, she stopped eating one day (1/13/2021). She had difficulty walking around, was obviously in difficulty and/or pain. We took her in to our trusted veterinarian. Blood tests revealed anemia, and X-rays revealed a large splenic tumor. She could have died any second if the tumor ruptured. The prognosis was very poor, options few, none of them good. We elected to end her suffering. We had expected her to make it more than 11 years, but, on the other hand, she had a great life.
We tried her at Barn Hunt practice. I thought she would attack the rat cage, but she seemed to learn that she could not get to it, and lost interest. We tried to get her a CGC title, but she couldn't be cool around strangers. She would have to run up to them to be petted. Dear Gretchen. You were unregistered, not even a color recognized by AKC. You never earned any titles or certificates, unlike those that came after you, but you set the stage for them to do so, and will always be first in our hearts, Schnauzer Prime.
To see an insane number of cute photos of Gretchen Marie, look here: https://showmejoe.blogspot.com/2021/01/eulogy-for-gretchen.html
